Finding time to exercise is not hard. In fact, it’s as easy as 4 simple steps. If you struggle to stay in shape because your schedule is too full, try these simple life hacks, and you’ll be completing Ironman races in no time.

1. Divorce your wife. Wives demand so much of your time. This is time that could be spent training. You also won’t have to worry about taking a break in the middle of a long ride to call your wife and give her an estimate for when you expect to be home because she was going to have something ready to eat when you got there. That can be such a killer.

2. Sell you kids. Kids are very needy individuals. They rely on you for food, shelter, clothing, and love. Providing all of these so-called necessities is very draining, not only of your time, but your energy. Watching soccer games and going to father/daughter balls won’t help you swim 2.4 miles in open water.

3. Quit your job. If you work for a living, like a sucker, then you must know that nothing is more detrimental to your training week than a 40+ hour work week. It’s such an easy fix, yet so many people don’t see how much time they waste at work. Sitting through a meeting listing to IT explain why you had to work all weekend after their servers crashed is the opposite of training for a marathon.

4. Quit watching TV. OK, that one is just a joke. LOL, as the kids would say. It’s impossible to not watch TV, especially if you’re fortunate enough to be leasing a DVR from you satellite provider. Like a few minutes ago I could have bench pressed some weight in the garage, instead I watched last week’s Vikings episode, the one where the priest was supposed to be sacrificed. Oops, spoiler alert, he wasn’t sacrificed, and he was only lying about not being a Christian.

5. (Bonus tip) Forgo all yard work. Do I even have to expound on this one?

So there you have it. There should be no more excuses for you to not train this week. Stay tuned to this blog and I’ll share with you some wonderful excuses for staying in bed and not going to the pool at 5:30AM.

And now, since no blog is complete without at least one pic, here I am standing in front of the Captain EO sign at the Experimental Prototype Community of Tomorrow, otherwise known as that Disney park with the giant grey golf ball.

Excited about Captain EO