Why “The Pretend Triathlete”?

The Pretend Triathlete is a regular dude who is 41 years old as of this date, married, 3 kids, full-time office job, and lives in a small town in the heart of America. He attempts 3 – 4 sprint and olympic distance triathlons each year, has done a couple of half-Ironman races, and aspires to a full Ironman race one day.

My “training” consists of lifting weights, running, riding, and even swimming. To call it “training”, however, is a little generous. I’m way too lazy to push myself on a consistent basis. I enjoy recording my efforts and tracking my workouts, but I don’t put the data to good use and rarely use it to improve myself. I lose patience during long runs, rides, and swims. If it weren’t for podcasts I’d lose my mind very quickly while out exercising. The idea of training for an Ironman is something I can get very motivated about when I see the Kona broadcast on NBC, but once I’m out on the road I start thinking, “I have to do this for 140.6 miles? Please let an Escapade swerve into me now.”

Thus, I’m a wanna be, a side liner, a pretender.

For me, triathlons keep me in shape. Working out is merely a hobby. Some people hunt, fish, line that high shelf in the den with beer bottles from around the world. I sign up for races and then exercise enough to finish them. I’ve finished all my races, except my very first tri that was called 3/4 of the way through my bike leg due to a gigantic storm that blew in.

This year I have 3 – 4 tris lined up, and if the Lord wills it I will run the KC Marathon. There, I’m committing in writing. I will elect to do the marathon on my bike if it’s an option.

Now, since blogs are more interesting when there are pics, here’s my bike and the trainer I got for Christmas. The trainer is one of my favorite pieces of bike equipment that I own. It’s right up there with my bike.

The Pretend Triathlete’s set up to pretend he’s riding a bike.