Author Archives: The Pretend Triathlete

About The Pretend Triathlete

Just a 46 year old trying to stay in shape. Not pro-athlete in shape, just 46 year old guy with a family and a house and a job in shape. Signing up for races is the best way I've found to do that. I blog about things that happen to me and things I observe while training and racing. Let's do this!

Serious Post about Training your Pelvic Floor

When I was in the Navy a fellow sailor once told me that he had never farted in front of a girl. This was because, he said in all earnestness, he had such good control of his butthole. Now I … Continue reading

Posted in Health and Fitness, marathon, Running, workout | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

Serious Post About Pooping Under a Bridge

When you gotta go you gotta go. I don’t always poop in a toilet, and you can bet when I don’t it gets very inconvenient. Continue reading

Posted in Health and Fitness, Running, Trail running, workout | 2 Comments

Big Cycling News!

Good news, everyone! I know you’ve been waiting to hear this. I got the blu-ray player in the garage to connect to my wifi! And when I say I got it to connect I mean it just started working again. … Continue reading

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On the Bike Again

Wow, it has been a long time since I rode a bike. The last recorded instance of me pedaling a bicycle was June 30, 2017. The time before that was December 3rd, 2016. Now, I know what you’re saying. “You’re … Continue reading

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Opinions Are Like Doughnut Holes, Everybody Likes Them

I’m not sure I got that saying right, but as I was out running this morning I realized I had some opinions. And I very much like my opinions, so I guess in a way the title is correct; everybody … Continue reading

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MR340 (Missouri River, 340 Miles)

Well, it hasn’t been quite a year since I last posted, so not too bad. Let’s get up to date. In my last post I said I was going to do the Dogwood Canyon trail run, and then the Bass … Continue reading

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So You Can Post From Your Phone?

I’ve actually seen this option for a long time on the app, but who wants to type that many words with your thumbs? Anywho…I’m doing the Dogwood Canyon Trail Run in a couple of weeks. It’s 25K the first day … Continue reading

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