Author Archives: The Pretend Triathlete

About The Pretend Triathlete

Just a 46 year old trying to stay in shape. Not pro-athlete in shape, just 46 year old guy with a family and a house and a job in shape. Signing up for races is the best way I've found to do that. I blog about things that happen to me and things I observe while training and racing. Let's do this!

Wetsuit Swimming at the Pool

221223 1628 I’m posting my old drafts UNEDITED. Reading the below I hope that was a rental wetsuit. I believe swimming in chlorine cancels any kind of warranty on a wetsuit. Do you like to swim? (I’ve said it before … Continue reading

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Horses

221223 1624 I’m posting my old drafts UNEDITED. Comment below all the mistakes you see. I remember this incident. I didn’t mention that all the riders were wearing the same fancy cowboy shirts, like they were a riding team or … Continue reading

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221223 1620 I’m posting my old drafts UNEDITED. Deal with it. Update to this: I finished Ironman Louisville 2014. It was so long ago I almost feel like I need to do it again to maintain my Ironman cred. In … Continue reading

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My Shoulder is in Flames

221223 1614 I’m posting some old drafts UNEDITED. Don’t @ me, I see the mistakes, but I don’t want to fix them. Besides, with my writing ability who would know the difference? However, I do have an update to the … Continue reading

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Surprised

I’m surprised I still have an account. I don’t remember the last time I logged in here. OK. Have a great day? Ken 5/31/22 12:26 Clinton, MO

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Serious Post about Training your Pelvic Floor

When I was in the Navy a fellow sailor once told me that he had never farted in front of a girl. This was because, he said in all earnestness, he had such good control of his butthole. Now I … Continue reading

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Serious Post About Pooping Under a Bridge

When you gotta go you gotta go. I don’t always poop in a toilet, and you can bet when I don’t it gets very inconvenient. Continue reading

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Big Cycling News!

Good news, everyone! I know you’ve been waiting to hear this. I got the blu-ray player in the garage to connect to my wifi! And when I say I got it to connect I mean it just started working again. … Continue reading

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On the Bike Again

Wow, it has been a long time since I rode a bike. The last recorded instance of me pedaling a bicycle was June 30, 2017. The time before that was December 3rd, 2016. Now, I know what you’re saying. “You’re … Continue reading

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Opinions Are Like Doughnut Holes, Everybody Likes Them

I’m not sure I got that saying right, but as I was out running this morning I realized I had some opinions. And I very much like my opinions, so I guess in a way the title is correct; everybody … Continue reading

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