Author Archives: The Pretend Triathlete

About The Pretend Triathlete

Just a 46 year old trying to stay in shape. Not pro-athlete in shape, just 46 year old guy with a family and a house and a job in shape. Signing up for races is the best way I've found to do that. I blog about things that happen to me and things I observe while training and racing. Let's do this!

Wetsuit Swimming at the Pool

Posted on December 23, 2022 by The Pretend Triathlete

221223 1628 I’m posting my old drafts UNEDITED. Reading the below I hope that was a rental wetsuit. I believe swimming in chlorine cancels any kind of warranty on a wetsuit. Do you like to swim? (I’ve said it before … Continue reading →

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Horses

Posted on December 23, 2022 by The Pretend Triathlete

221223 1624 I’m posting my old drafts UNEDITED. Comment below all the mistakes you see. I remember this incident. I didn’t mention that all the riders were wearing the same fancy cowboy shirts, like they were a riding team or … Continue reading →

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221223 1620 I’m posting my old drafts UNEDITED. Deal with it. Update to this: I finished Ironman Louisville 2014. It was so long ago I almost feel like I need to do it again to maintain my Ironman cred. In … Continue reading →

Posted on December 23, 2022 by The Pretend Triathlete | Leave a comment

My Shoulder is in Flames

Posted on December 23, 2022 by The Pretend Triathlete

221223 1614 I’m posting some old drafts UNEDITED. Don’t @ me, I see the mistakes, but I don’t want to fix them. Besides, with my writing ability who would know the difference? However, I do have an update to the … Continue reading →

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Surprised

Posted on May 31, 2022 by The Pretend Triathlete

I’m surprised I still have an account. I don’t remember the last time I logged in here. OK. Have a great day? Ken 5/31/22 12:26 Clinton, MO

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Serious Post about Training your Pelvic Floor

Posted on March 17, 2018 by The Pretend Triathlete

When I was in the Navy a fellow sailor once told me that he had never farted in front of a girl. This was because, he said in all earnestness, he had such good control of his butthole. Now I … Continue reading →

Posted in Health and Fitness, marathon, Running, workout | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

Serious Post About Pooping Under a Bridge

Posted on November 25, 2017 by The Pretend Triathlete

When you gotta go you gotta go. I don’t always poop in a toilet, and you can bet when I don’t it gets very inconvenient. Continue reading →

Posted in Health and Fitness, Running, Trail running, workout | 2 Comments

Big Cycling News!

Posted on October 7, 2017 by The Pretend Triathlete

Good news, everyone! I know you’ve been waiting to hear this. I got the blu-ray player in the garage to connect to my wifi! And when I say I got it to connect I mean it just started working again. … Continue reading →

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On the Bike Again

Posted on September 10, 2017 by The Pretend Triathlete

Wow, it has been a long time since I rode a bike. The last recorded instance of me pedaling a bicycle was June 30, 2017. The time before that was December 3rd, 2016. Now, I know what you’re saying. “You’re … Continue reading →

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Opinions Are Like Doughnut Holes, Everybody Likes Them

Posted on August 26, 2017 by The Pretend Triathlete

I’m not sure I got that saying right, but as I was out running this morning I realized I had some opinions. And I very much like my opinions, so I guess in a way the title is correct; everybody … Continue reading →

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