I’m not a real triathlete; to begin with. There is no doubt whatever about that. Oh, sure, I’ve ran in a few triathlons over the last couple of years, all Olympic distance races with one 70.3 thrown in. So I do triathlons, but I’m not a triathlete.

Triathletes hire coaches, have expensive bikes, swam in college or high school, and run about a 100,000 miles a year. Not me.

My coach is me. My training plan is TBD. I paid $250 for my bike in 1991. I flop like fish out of water when I try to swim. If I run 20 miles a week I feel like I climbed Mt. Everest.

In fact, not only am I not a triathlete, I am ready to confess that I’m not even an un-athlete. When describing my athletic prowess, people use words like “awkward”, “slow”, and “he’s not serious, is he?”

Nevertheless, I will attempt a few more races this year, and I have no time to waste; I already signed up for the 2012 Branson 70.3 Ironman.

So I need to get to the pool. The last time I swam was September 18, 2011, which, by the way, was the date of the 2011 Branson 70.3 Ironman. I had a rather poor showing that day, so that’s a big reason I’m returning to the scene of the crime, I totally have to redeem myself. I thought I’d hit the pool pretty soon after the new year, but I may wait a couple weeks to let the New Year’s resoluters clear out.

Until then, I’ll continue to lift weights and run. Did I mention I need to get my bike put back together?

Here are my new running shoes:

Asics Gel Blur33, or something like that. Maybe I’ll add a review later. Until then, stick to those resolutions. Maybe I’ll see you at the pool.